There’s a reason new parents are told to take home a blanket smelling like their newborn so the family pet can get used to it: Animals crave familiarity. Humans do, too, which is why we find ourselves following the same patterns over and over, despite our best intentions.
Most of my clients are stuck in the same place — their comfort zone — with a desire for something outside their reach. Maybe they want to increase their impact and income, make their side hustle into a full-time gig, have a baby or run a marathon. Whatever their goal, they tell me that they are here and what they covet feels like it’s way over there.
But our targets are only out of reach because we limit ourselves to the secure certainty of the zone we’ve each built for ourselves. Why? Because it’s scary to take a risk. “Zone” implies parameters, barriers, walls. It protects a person against surprise so that there are no unknowns. When we hold ourselves back, we’re kept from growing and learning.
The especially anxious among us think of surprises as bad things: unrevealed outcomes for which we aren’t prepared. Yet what about the good surprises, like when we shock ourselves by landing a big client using an untested sales pitch or lifting more weight than last week because we saw another athlete attempt the same? Fear of failure keeps a person from the beauty of success. If you don’t take the step yourself, life will force you outside your comfort zone. Without periodically taking leaps, you’re bound to be grounded under duress.
When I ask clients to rate their goals on a scale of 1-10 — 1 being “I was ready before Beyoncé dropped her secret album” and 10 being “I’m more terrified than I am during American Horror Story promos” — they nearly always confirm that they know what they want, but they’re so scared. Fears include comparison to others, feeling inadequate, being insecure, unconditionally trusting a loved one and disapproval from their family. Some are ashamed or guilty about their desires. Know this: Each of us has the ability to receive, but some of us aren’t making the space to receive. Making the space requires expanding your comfort zone.
I wanted to do something special during October, my birthday month. I’m offering a limited number of spots in Your Sensuality Fueled Biz, my signature 1:1 private coaching program for new clients. Previous clients have used this program shift their d shame and guilt beliefs/stories around sensuality, reconnect to their pussy, pleasure their way through business, a dream they haven’t been able to make into a reality.
During these calls, we will dive into your subconscious and conscious blocks. We’ll talk about your ambition and the stories you tell yourself to skirt risk. Then we’ll confront those stories, talk about what is missing from your sensuality + mindset goals, and how my support can help you with your goals.
I should tell you that those steps will ask you to step outside your comfort zone. Unpredictability is part of life, and I believe your life should be filled to the brim with the massive wishes you have for yourself.